Radhika Mundra‘The Art and Power of Emphatic Listening‘ -#1000Speak for Compassion
‘Listening has the quality of the wizard’s alchemy. It has the power to melt armor and to produce beauty in the midst of hatred’ ~Brian Muldoon |
I’ve been labelled as a listener since childhood because I always took more pleasure in listening to what others had to say and keeping that in my memory to hold forever. Sometimes, I get that astonished look from people when I quote an instance they once told me or a dialogue we once exchanged, back in the time, like, “Really, you still remember that?’ and whenever this happens, it gives me a strange pleasure.
No, my memory isn’t very sharp, just good enough to remember what we’ve talked about when I was listening and not just hearing.
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Many-a-times, when we talk to people, our thoughts often go haywire on the mention of a single word that has a strong memory in our mind. To be able to suppress that urge of our mind to rewind our own memories rather than to listen to what the other person has to say takes a lot of courage. If you have that courage, then I must say you are a remarkable human being because when you are listening to someone attentively, you are not just listening to the words that are being spoken, but the feelings too that are related to what is being said.
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What is more important than just listening?
Listening Compassionately!
When you listen to someone with the intention of sharing their feelings, that’s when you are listening compassionately. When you listen in order to lessen the suffering of the speaker, that’s when you are listening compassionately. Compassion is like water, it takes the shape of the vessel you put it in. Put it on your tongue and it’ll flow through your words, put it in your heart, it’ll flow through your body, put it in your ears, it’ll flow through your attention towards the people who speak to you.
Also read: ‘I Choose to Be Real’ #1000Speak for Compassion
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When someone talks to you, they seek the comfort, the assurance that they are being listened to. Just give them that comfort and see how all your relationships fall into place. One thing that results in the fights we encounter every day with our family, friends or even strangers, is that we do not listen to them with compassion. We listen to the answer, not to understand. That’s what ends up being the reason for a fight.
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To solve these fights, listen to them, their words, their feelings associated with what they are speaking about. You’ll see the difference and I assure you that the results will leave you full of joy unbound.
I found so many beautiful quotes on listening that I find it hard not to share them! Take a look:
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| Source: alameleadership.com |
Finally, this amazing poem by John Fox, ‘When Someone Deeply Listens to You‘ :
When someone deeply listens to you
it is like holding out a dented cup
you’ve had since childhood
and watching it fill up with
cold, fresh water.
When it balances on top of the brim,
you are understood.
When it overflows and touches your skin,
You are loved.When someone deeply listens to you,
the room where you stay
starts a new life
and the place where you wrote
your first poem
begins to glow in your mind’s eye.
It is as if gold has been discovered!When someone deeply listens to you,
your bare feet are on the earth
and a beloved land that seemed distant
is now at home within you.by John Fox
So, are you a compassionate listener?
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Read more on #1000Speak:
#1000Speak: Compassion begins at Home
#1000Speak for Compassion: How to stay connected during a disagreement?
Existence of Compassion: Nature Vs Nurture
Building Against Bullying #1000Speak- ‘The Girl With An Accent’
Sure it is,i think listening is one of the gifts that not all people have. It is a part of a person's wisdom. All thanks to you for sharing.
Nice one again.
Would you listen to me, Radhika ? ( just kidding) Hahaha
By the way, All of the words that you post in your blog this time are giving motivation to some else who read it
Thanks so much, Jitender! 🙂 Glad that you like it!
Sure I will! Even I can use an ear if you have it. 😛
Thanks, Andri! They are intended to motivate and spread compassion among the readers so that they can pass it on! On a mission to make the world a better place! 🙂
Thank you so much, Amr! I think listening is a gift that all of us possess but fail to realise. It's just about trying to bring out that gift and use it at the right time! 🙂 🙂
Thanks for your wonderful comment! 🙂
I love the quote re: speaking in such a way that others love to listen to you. I know this month is about listening, but I think THAT is now my goal when I speak. I am often so worried that no one will care what I say or that what I say – if I can approach it like that – that would change how I view the exchange.
Thanks for the great thought for the day – Louise
I can understand how you feel, truly, Louise. I, myself, am focused on that for now because it's high time I get a listener too! I want to speak, speak like a great leader wo captivates his audience not just with charming words, but with the sheer power of goodness and kindness in them! 🙂
Thanks for the sharing your thoughts! 🙂
Very profound, Radhika. Listening, it has often been said, is the most important form of communication. Nowadays, people talk a lot more than they listen, and in many instances, gain only misunderstandings from "conversations".
All the above quotes are saluted, the importance of the 'listening' skill and the power in it is clearly explained in this post Radhika, highly appreciable. Many writers are only cling to their writing… they are prevented to give an ear to the voices passing by, this is due to the ego. And slowly this ego will turn into a jealousy and finally taking the writer to the dead end, where he/she feel like out of topics.
To prevent this, whoever a writer is, must use his mind as well as ears to grab the information for writer's sake and for their readers.
Listening needs a much patience than writing. Listening is a good friend, we take what it is necessary and we leave what is unnecessary.
Thank you for once again reminding us all about the golden principle Radhika :):):)
Well done, Radhika. The accumulative effect all your quotes cause is powerful and lasting. The effort you put into finding all this wisdom was obviously considerable. Compassionate for your readers, too! You have my thanks. 🙂
OH, thanks so much for such a wonderful feedback, Christina! So glad my post could leave an effect on you! 🙂
Thanks, Hugh! Rightly said, people nowadays just converse to speak out their ideas, they don't converse to listen to their counterparts'!
Thanks for sharing your views!! 🙂 🙂
Thank you so much, Prasanna! Your appreciation always inspires me!
I agree with every word of yours! If a writer opens his ears, the world would be much more beautiful and mystical to live in and to write about!
You are very welcome! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! 🙂
What a wonderful post! I really enjoyed it, especially quotes which are so spot on and strengthen your points!
Thank you, Gulara! So happy to know that you like it!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! 🙂
First of all, I just love all the quotes you chose. And this whole post is packed so full of wisdom. I think you just must be a wonderful person to be around. Some of what you said reminded me of a prayer to be a better listener that I liked so much I memorized it. In part it says, "We do not really listen to each other, Lord, at least not all the time. Instead of true dialogue, we carry on two parallel monologues. I talk, may companion talks. But what we are really concentrating on is how to sound good, how to make our points strongly, how to outshine the person with whom we are talking." I think that's what most people are doing in conversation. It takes a really special person to listen the way you do.
Radhika..!! Marvel..
But I was just wondering, what if there's a state where everybody is lending an EAR to LISTEN.. No one to speak but everyone is keen to LISTEN..
Atleast we need someone to SPEAK only than we can LISTEN.. So LISTEN itself says be SILENT..
So let's put it this way.. Let others' say, LISTEN to them and than SPEAK.. :p..
I'm no such biggie, to be truthful! I'm just less of a talker and more of a listener! 🙂 I love the prayer you shared. Suits the situation so well. We all are so focused on what we have to say that we totally miss the point of having a conversation, i.e, to exchange ideas. We are, in fact, just delivering our own and not absorbing the ones others drop.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Leslie! 🙂
Thanks, Navneet!
Let me resolve your query. You know, it's quite simple. The ones who have been listening to you for so long can now change their roles for the speakers and hence the world will never be devoid of or be in the state in which there is no speaker and only listeners. 🙂
I like your idea too. 😀
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! 🙂
:p. Now I have to be an active listener.. :p..
Haha, that sums it up then! 😀 😛
Thank you for visiting my blog:), I enjoyed your post on listening and liked the quotes to match, it's so important that we take the time to listen, that's how we learn and grow and more importantly take time out for others who may not have a voice.
It indeed is important to Listen, but that again is a lost art. Nobody, ever listens they just lend a deaf ear! Thanks for sharing!
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Very true! Thanks for sharing your feedback! 🙂 🙂
Oh, no! You are quite mistaken if you think nobody ever listens! People do listen, it's just about finding the right person! 🙂
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! 🙂
Thank you so much, Anders! 🙂
Wonderful quotes Radhika. I am a compassionate listener. I try to understand their feelings when i listen. But i don't have a good memory. As you mentioned, compassionate listening improves relationships.
The quotes are so beautiful and inspiring … Wonderful share.
Thank You so much, Rajlakshmi! 🙂