Dear XX Purple,
There I stood, right behind the big guy, listening to all that you said about all the things that mattered to you. I was hoping my name would come up every time you uttered an ‘and’, but it never did. I was disappointed, but I thought it would still be different in your heart, that you still wish me to hold your hand down the darkest of your paths. I think I overdid with the expectations.
I saw your house the other day, it has been painted purple. It must be your choice because you never enjoyed any colour other than this. Am I right? I hope I am.
My life’s been like the scattered colours on the Rubik’s cube ever since you thought it was right for you to go. I have never been complete after you took away the most important part of my life after you took yourself away. I had hoped for a life that would be crazy so that it doesn’t get boring, but not this crazy! Never this crazy.
I always thought I was the white that could lighten your dark purple but turned out you lightened your purple and painted me with your black! I am unable to recognize myself now. It feels like the colour I breathe stinks. It doesn’t make any difference when I try to enjoy the fragrance of fresh flowers or perfume because all I smell is the stale smell of the black pain that you left my white self with.
I wish I could keep the hope alive, but your black painted my white. I wanted to, I really did, but not anymore. It’s time I regain my butterfly pink. It’s time I get rid of the tainted white, your black and your purple. It’s time I find someone who can acquaint me with the beauty that green beholds and who purifies anything that is left of your black. Someone who sets me free, who can complete the Rubik’s cube and make me whole, both by heart and soul.
All this time, I kept thinking that there’s a possibility that I’ll see you again, that there can be a ‘we’, but yet again, it never happened. I think it’s time to say goodbye. For me to say it, it takes a lot of pain, but your black did one good thing to me that it made me strong enough to throw it away, to cleanse myself.
I hope you explore new colours and never greet black again. I hope that after you read this, you hope the same for me. I’ve made my peace with it, so if you don’t it’s still okay.